All is fair in love and war.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

The first weekend i ever felt so much relieved. got nothing to worry so much except for the becoming exam and my practice for the time being.

Next monday: i'll be having my 2nd paeds posting. still got everything to be studied on. the motivation is at the sub-clinical level. but hey, i need to go on. What a waste if i let myself stuck in the beginning.

Right now. my life is simple. though i always think that i'm easy to be read, but difficult to be understood, sometimes, i just felt that my forgetfulness did help me in a way.

But, not in many ways :). Malas nak tulis di sini. Nanti penat dan buang banyak sangat masa.

OK. A lot of friends are getting married recently. I guess 24 is just a nice time to start a good family. Let say you wanna plan having 7 lovely kids with your spouse bi iznillah, with a 2 years gap for each child at least as recommended for a good family planning. If everything went well, you need at least 14 years. and by that, it means that you should be a very productive and strong mum to begin with. by 38, you can complete the family and reduce the risk of getting syndromic baby and complicated pregnancy.

People nowadays, are changing their perspective and way of life. More women choose to limit the number of her kids to 2 or 3 and bi iznillah. less and less people having 12 or 10 sibling like i used to hear when i was in the 80s and early 90s.

is it good? it showed that women in malaysia are getting new function and role in the community. they performed well in their study, they performed well in their career and their voice were heard equally. They became bosses, engineers, CEO, ministers, and whatevers.

But personally, i think, no matter who a woman want to be, being a mother is just the most important and critical function of a woman after she was blessed with children. Yes. A mother is like the most important person that can help to shape a better family. from a good family: a healthy and competitive descendants are born and from a good education/tarbiyyah, an excellent person is molded.

it all started from the mother.

Happy birthday to to my beloved mum; may we be among His true believers and and meet Him safely in the hereafter. Thank you for being here for me.

Back on the the first topic. Marriage: Ok, i believe every people has their own fate and way. We plan, but Allah decide. Only He knows what's best for us, though we might have the idea. But, no matter what we do.. just bear in mind what are the main purpose of everything we do. I think if every married muslim understand the main purpose of being here and doing everything we did in our daily life: the divorce rate should be very low. We create a beautiful bond not to ruin it someday, not only just because we're tired of him/her. We create a bond not only just to satisfy other people who push you to do something. We form a bond not just to keep other people's mouth shut and to make ourself look good. If that's the only reason: you're putting yourself into trouble. No grandiosity, no hypocrisy. We form a bond out of love. Love towards Him, and towards the others. A bond out of love should be the strength instead of source of burden. Only true love remains. And if the love wear off? yes, it can happen, but hold on, you might fall in love again. As long as His love is with you.

That is why the one you choose, should be the right one from the first place. And until He showed and move your heart and show you the way, try to not hurt others and keep yourself safe. Accept diversity and fate.

True love is a blessing. It can stand anything. yes, even death.

But not all is fair in love and war :).

Tabah dik! (sorak untuk baby menangis masa blood taking C&S)

it was quite a long day. joined the paeds ward round in the morning, seminar in the afternoon, followed by my presentation on lung cancer. then, we went for solat maghrib at the mosque and had a dinner at Bugis kopitiam with a nice hot toffee. and later went on call: tonight to clerk a case for my case write up.

it was not really like one of my busiest day as a medical student. there are times when i could just skip my meal not noticing. and that was very significant for me.

but today is just the day for the 'reality' to wake me up again. Being ignorant and complacent for certain things is nice, but it won't save you. in the end, the one who should be responsible for every little steps we took in our life would be .. ?...... ourself! isn't that what Islam taught us? to CHOOSE between right and wrong. and to think before we act because everything will be justified and bring to a +1 or -1 etc in the hereafter.

being comfortable where sometimes everybody around seemed to be nice to be relied on is nice. (? ayat susah faham?) but sometime we just forget the hardship. and we worked less and we expected too much from the others. but sometimes life is all about the test right?

Homogeneous is good. but i seemed to learn that certain people just want to be different from the others by many means. name it healthy or irritating. healthy is good, but like they say, antara keperwiraan dan keangkuhan, pemisahnya amat nipis. this is where some people would just hit the other in front and walk away, as long as they get what they want. and it was called : selfishness. hey, selfishin striving excellence is good! but selfishness by hurting others won't be good.

maybe me myself is one them? i hope not. let me remind myself; life has a reason. and the reason is not to lead us to count what we got and how far we've become and appreciated in this world. but, the real reason will make us count what we've done to the others. and what else can we contribute.

be strong and better.

Success

Previously, it seemed to be not that far away..

but as time pushed and narrowed the distance,

and the views become clearer... we came to realize that

it was not of that clear journey to begin with

knowing the risk of joining and becoming one of the pioneers

i know it was not going to be that easy for certain aspect but maybe

there will be some absolute 'yes' for some matter.

i saw it quite clearly for the first 3 years..

it was not that perfect, nor that popular.. but i don't really mind back then.

and the small numbers make it easier to personalize and we get what we want.

the attention was near full i could say. (which refers to the one further, across the highway)

but numbers grow, tomorrows became yesterdays

and He reminds us that life was not just all about green meadows and blue skies..

people change ( read: someone left and the other came to fill in).

i'm not a fan of yesterday's.. but urm.. it's much better than today it seems : to me..

i just wonder if the today's don't really like us here or just did not give a damn?

or 2009 and 2010 are just too busy years.

previously, we met with him the yesterday's several times, and his own ear did hear my precious voice in our own house. but... the today's: the representatives themselves just met them after 1 year they know them. Forget on what could happen across the highway, let us just talk on what can we see today. here.

Again. Anything could happen.

But after-all, Success is actually in His power.

Coklat Malaysia, Maher Zain, Baby comel, dan ?wedding photoshoots dan err.. Gintama

Minggu pertama paeds diiringi sakit kepala secara serius sejak petang semalam. Kerana bekalan analgesic telah habis dan malas ke kedai pakcik atau pharmacy atau asyik terlupa mengkidnap saja dari ward... nampaknya perlu tahan saja.. tak tahan, tidur. Alia pun takde stock.

Pagi tadi telah melawan nafsu; pergi juga ke ward round. Hoho.. padan muka nafsu kali ni, kalau ikut dia nak baring tidur je lepas subuh. Nasib baik Alia pakai baju biru pagi tadi (apa kaitan?) Pergi dengan muka berkerut, tapi sampai sana OK pulak. Tengok baby chomel kot. So this headache was on and off. Habis ward round 1st sakit lagi. Bila balik rumah untuk lunch sakit lagi. Dan haha.. terlupa lagi untuk mendapatkan analgesic. Oh, boringnya cerita pasal diri sendiri.. tapi suka hati lah, ini kan blog monolog.

Beberapa entry lepas asyik cakap tentang perkara yang tak menggembirakan. Mungkin bahana suka nampak yang negative, the small2 little (/big) things yang ada lupa untuk dihargai. Seperti stethoscope saya. (arrgh.. pening kepala lagi) kesian beliau yang telah mengharungi suka duka bersama saya selama 2 tahun lepas, makan sama2, belajar sama2, kena marah sama2, exam sama2, dan yang paling sentimental accident sama2 depan hospital... owh, nasib baik dia boleh disambung semula dan besi dia tahan lasak, ada cacat sikiiiit je lepas kene gilis 2 biji kereta. Alhamdulillah.. selamat. Bravo Littmann! Boo jenama X! .................................... tapi sekarang.. dia telah saya abaikan di suatu tempat nun disebalik hutan rimba. Kesian beliau, kerana itu saya perlu menebus beliau semula weekend ni. (Diam... diam.. balik ni diam je)

Coklat Malaysia, Maher Zain, Baby comel, dan ?wedding photoshoots dan err.. Gintama.

Ini perkara2 kecil yang mengambil bahagian dalam penambahan endorphin semenjak dua menjak ni. Coklat Malaysia sebab hari tu pergi Choc fair sempena IIUM graduation.. dan agak terkejut dengan pelbagai jenama coklat Malaysia yang wujud agak lama tapi banyak yang saya tak pernah dengar.. yang paling penting kita mudah yakin akan kesuciannya :). Ada yang boleh tahan.. Nombor satu dalam ranking adalah jenama Dazzle (yang saya rasa lah).. dia punya FINE coklat boleh tahan la. (ni boleh buat satu entry)

DAN... ceng ceng ceng... MAHER ZAIN is here! wah!!!!! Sayangnya belum ada rezeki untuk tengok show dia kat sini. But takpe la kan.. suka sebab message dia.. Semoga dia berjaya dalam jalan dakwah..even yang ganaz2 hard core pun ada yang dengar message dia. Dakwah kau macam mana Anum?

Dan siang tadi terjumpa seorang baby yang sangat comel, yang telah dibuang ke dalam longkang YANG BERAIR dan TELAH DIGIGIT BINATANG... tadi dia dah stable.. ada parut je kat left leg. Soalan pertama yang saya tanya dalam hati.. macammana orang boleh buang baby ni? masa tengok baby tu senyum masa kitorang buat developmental assessment.. ya Allah... sampai ke hati nak tinggal baby tu dalam longkang... dan baby tu (2 month old) putih, chubby, ada cooing, social smile, and very active.. kalau agah pandai menjawab pulak tu.. macam nak je bawak balik. nasib baik dah ada mak angkat. Kalau tak boleh dapat anak halal free.. hehe. Macammana cara nak letak baby tu dalam longkang?

kebelakangan ini juga suka menengok wedding shots... ?helo ?helo... owh.. sebab ramai kawan yang kawin..jadi banyak tengok gambar...jadi suka tengok yang menarik.. Gambar yang cantik? Ye, bukan gambar pengantin laki pompuan bercium disebalik selendang atau gambar aksi panas versi menutup aurat ye. (banyak apa kat fesbuk) eh anum sedap mengata...stop.

Gambar cantik = gambar yang bagitahu anda sudah kahwin. Gambar yang dapat catch the golden moments dengan tetamu, ahli keluarga, kawan2, sedara mara, suasana seronok, ceria, lawak dan sebagainya. Pendek kata gambar wedding ceremony.. kalau pandai ambik, memang la sangat puas hati kalau tengok.. gambar boleh mencerita macam2.. dan menguatkan silaturrahim.

Ramai yang boleh get the good angle masa shooting. Tapi, hanya photographer yang best yang dapat catch the feeling dan tunjuk dalam gambar. Suka tengok, tapi mesti la yang cakap ni memang tak pandai main2 kamera ni... tengok suka.

Rekod:

Gintama? owh cerita ni sebab pengaruh RIE.cis. cis. terpengaruh pulak. sejak bila tengok anime? sejak dah tua. tak senonoh betul. tapi sebab dah TERminat.. layan la. cis. Owh, memang ada lawak dewasa...tak senonoh. ketepikan yang itu, tapi apakah menangis masa tengok episod anjing mati dan beruang mati? ketepikan yang itu juga. OK la kalau nak lari dari rutin. (memang suka lari?)

selain itu memasak juga mengurangkan stress. Alhamdulillahh dan duduk luar, dah boleh masak sendiri,,, kurang la kebergantungan dengan masakan berMSG tinggi atau berkari pekat rasa sama atau yang digoreng pakai minyak recycle minggu lepas.

Esok kena buat larian pula. larian paeds mengejar senarai to do list!

Budak-budak

(disebabkan telah hyper sedikit.. beberapa point2 penting telah dimasukkan)

I'm gonna start the next posting this Monday. (tadi telah bermula.. dah beli paeds protocol!) Paediatric posting mode coming up! (woot! woot!.. tadi telah serang budak kecik; tapi kakak ganas lagi pandai bergaduh dgn yang nakal dari ambik hati budak2 baik... camne ni?)

When i talk paediatric, the first thing i'd remember is; whoa, we've lost two PrRrrEciOUS lecturers last time. Prof Zainab, and Dr Prameela. Paeds posting was also the first posting we know what it feels like to be organized. (di sini berasa sayu, tapi kali ini sangat terharu dengan Dr Madeeha.. she's a very dedicated, professional, and hardworking trainee lec.... tengah organize our paeds posting sambil mengconduct paeds exam junior secara solo.. jazakillah Dr, may Allah ease your burden and give you the best.. saya sangat la kagum dengan orang sebegini, yang sungguh payah untuk mengeluh dan banyak memberi.. anum, u shud learn from her) We get a booklet; a complete booklet for the very first time during the clinical years. ( well, maybe this time.......like some of the previous posting, and some other postings, we need to schedule our own classes and find and deal with those external lecturers ourselves, but hey, that was very positive) Thank you Allah for giving us the chance to see how a good clinician can help us and made the days brighter.

Enough of the old days. This time, i'm not sure who's around to help us (insyaAllah, setidaknya dr Kamarul HKL masih belum serik, Dr HUKM juga masih setia... :) :) time would tell..) But loosing Prof Sham a few months back was also a setback ( jawapannya: masih tidak dapat~).

OK. We should not start this good thing with a negative perception in mind. Although i know, and they know we have a lot of thing we dislike.... *krik.. krik..krik*.. at the end of the day the choice was made and we have no other option but to stray and fight. I mean stay and fight.

May we become better than yesterday. Always better.

(tadi telah berborak dengan juniors. Edisi mereka lebih sedih. saat tadi hanya boleh senyum tawar, dan berkongsi mana yang ada. Nak pujuk lebih2.. hati sendiri pun sakit juga.. buat apa nak menipu.. jadi tepuk bahu, dan teruskan berjalan) insyaAllah.